We have heard the term, “holding hands” in relationships where friends, partners, family hold hands to go at it together. In this case, not as a hand gester in a romantic stroll but … holding hands to head on into fire and smoke … perhaps tearfully or with adreneline high, and determination, into the challenges of the unkown. Rather than an image of a couple sweetly “holding hands” on a romantic date what I am referring to is more an image from that scene of Princess Leia in the original Star Wars holding hands with Han Solo to jump the abyss. Currently we hold hands in family units or as a community to live through this Covid time. Some have no hands to hold and may be going at it alone – solo – or physicallly that may not be the case but may feel that way, emotionally, spiritually … Do we reach out to hold hands to friends and neighbors virtually? Or?
As I make a phone call to the more isolated, I yearn for the ability to simply Hold Space. What does it mean to hold space? Holding space is to listen and see without judgement. To mindfully and deeply listen and not jumping to impulsively provide … advice. Just listening with empathy while not living vicariously through the suffering and trauma another is suffering from. While we often say, placing ourselves in another’s shoe to really understand, it may not even be about that. One must be well rooted and grounded, stable, strong to the core and yet still … vulnerable and open and enourmously generous in sharing one’s humanity. Ultimately it takes a brave soul to hold space for a fellow human … without judgement, AND without expecting anything in return. Maybe we can actully feel honored that another human being can let go enough to put the guards down enough to allow a peek into another’s soul wrought with pain and suffering.
Sometimes we feel tested …
To always fix, to improve, to problem-solve and provide solutions. But human relationships are complex. There’s no passing grade. Let’s just hold space because in 99.9% of cases, in that moment, that’s enough.