Author: Kay T. Ananda

late Sachiko Yoshihara…

Power of Self-Dicipline

To The Gen Z’s

I confess, as much as I desperately wanted to kill myself

ultimately, I share that I never succeeded in killing myself

not even once

It’s probably because, rather than to die

or to kill,

I found writing I ended up writing

But in that same vein,

one must not replace living by writing

If you can save yourself from having to kill yourself by writing, and still you want to kill yourself, then,

poetry is as useful as

medicine

poetry IS my medicine

But one must not stop living by writing

But one must not stop loving by writing

I’ve found that an actual “real”flower is definitely lost – poof – disappears – as soon as I write the word “flower”

Likewise dragging my feet on writing paper makes my life insignificantly blithe and livable

Maybe even tolerable

so I set out to walk around erasing my foot prints, only to find new foot prints following right behind me.

(translated by K. Tsuyama)

Sachiko Yoshihara

***

It’s actually addressed “To The Youth” of the time. The poem was prompted when Yoshihara served as one of the panalists serving as a judge for a high school poetry contest. It is said that she was surprised, saddened and triggered by so many entries that expressed many teens’ desire to end their lives. She felt the anguish, a certain suicide ideation in many of the student entries which prompted her to write this poem.

自戒

わかものたちよ

わたしは一度も死ななかった

たぶん死ぬかわりに

殺すかわりに書いたからだ

死にたいと書くことで

死ななくてすむのなら

詩は薬のみたいな役に立つ

けれどその調子で生きるかわりに書いてはいけない

愛するかわりに書いてはいけない

花とかくとき

花はたしかに失われる

紙の上に足をひきずると

いのちはたしかにかるくなったので

私は足もとを消しに歩きまわる

すると私のうしろに新しい足あとが

またついてある

As this poem is about how one uses the Discipline to not destroy oneself, one of the 8 limbs of yoga popped up in my head as it is that Discipline or Restraint (for harm to self and others) that will ultimately save us, preserves us, empowers us to live a more fulfilling yogic (that of content and inner peace) life.

1. YAMA – Restraints, moral disciplines or moral vows

YAMA – “Restraint, moral disciplines or moral promise/vows”

Yama is the first limb or the principal. There are 5 YAMAS in the practice of yoga.

There are five Yamas: 

• Ahimsa (non-violence), 
• Satya (truthfulness), 
• Asteya  (non-stealing), 
• Brahmachaya (right use of energy), and 
• Aparigraha (non-greed or non-hoarding). 

Recommended Reading: “Light on The Yoga Sutras” by BKS Iyengar