Latest local Silicon Valley news – told to me by a lovely mom who came to my yoga class last night (her first yoga class ever – SO proud of her! Thank you as I know for many moms, Sunday evenings are hard to leave home that time – sacrificing Family Sunday dinner- thank you again for coming). She tells me after our class that there was a suicide at Gunn High School last week – I have no details but know that Gunn High School is in a relatively affluent community proving that all communities need Sonima Foundation.
Here’s a heart-wrenching plea from one of the students. Parents and teachers – maybe cultivating some empathy would aide in the healing of what’s broken. Give 16-year olds space. Let them be normal high school students enjoying what it means to be “Sweet” 16. And I don’t think I am naive to think that a program from Sonima Foundation would have helped had these vulnerable, sensitive students had a well designed and delivered Health & Wellness education before the 3-7 AP classes they are driven to take and the accompanying sleep deprivation. Which is more important? Straight A’s OR Happy, Healthy and Caring young people who will be our future? Do we want honest, creative, out-of-the box thinking, kind and compassionate people to shape our future or do we want dreadfully competitive, high-achieving, always seeking recognition and dominance, exclusive minded, highly driven “robots” attempting to problem solve and create a better, more peaceful future ?
We don’t know the background enough to blame the high-pressure, high-achievement oriented culture of some schools. Perhaps it was something else BUT if it is the case as this student in the video says, due to the culture of “pressure-cooker” academics spawn by the parental demands – to which she bravely says “CALM DOWN”! I wondered what fuels the parents to demand so much out of their child ? Of course parents want the best for their child – is that what fuels them to set high expectations?
It’s fear. The anxieties – and the kids like osmosis feel it under their skin. They don’t feel all the beautiful things under their skin – they just feel the fear, the anxiety, the stress. As well meaning with all good intentions, fear can “motivate” but …it can also be so toxic. If we change that “fear” that enslaves them to achieve at any cost, to something positive, like “faith” “acceptance” and “love” for life and people – to what’s really important, then the child is going to come out all right. Maybe it’s the parents who need the Health & Wellness program as much as their kids, so that they can give their kids the gift of space and fresh air to grow and develop at their own pace, self-regulation and self-acceptance that relies little from external validation (such as grades, popularity, praises…). I really like the values taught at the local elementary school – to do the right thing even when no-one is looking. To do good even if there’s no recognition. Hope that carries all the way to adulthood.
Here I re-post this as I feel it in my heart:
An Empath found in Rumi…
I will soothe you and heal you.
I will bring you roses.
I too have been covered with thorns.
– Rumi
