Dear First-Time Student,
I felt the immediate affinity towards you as you had on my alma mater school t-shirt and reminded me of those days when merely having the “will” was sufficient.
Yes, it’s all those blocks and the straps and the … bolsters and … blankets and as we forage and get them all set up, you were wondering if that heavy dread that’s overtaken your heart would lift. The weight of the sand bags reminds you how it feels when your lungs feel weighed down and constricted. Burdened. You pray that with “practice” the dread will dissipate and transform to joy. That feeling of trepidation you just cannot explain to those who never felt it.
I know you will get well. You will feel better. Much much better. You will feel whole and strong, again soon. I come from a place of empathy for I was once fearless, adventurous and carefree – then lost it as it was my own doing to whittle away at my essence. Then I regained most back through slow hardware, software restoration. It has been a project virtually completed. But then, maintenance is a process, a work in progress, always. I regained the foothold once thought to be lost. And so can you.
As the cliche goes, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel… and that tunnel need not be all dark and mildew moldy smelling. Nor laden with artificial glitters. That tunnel can be paved with ethereal glow in the dark flowers, lovely candles and divine scents fit for royalty. Perhaps even some music on the way and if Wifi is blocked, I have got THE chant that eradicates those toxic thoughts. I know – some experience considered to be heavenly bliss, to you now feels like … hell. Rather than exhaling with release and relief, you feel as though you are dragged over hot coals. Your nerves are all fired up so revved, you are wondering how you are going to sit still since you are having trouble breathing … either fighting that heavy feelings and if all that fighting fails, you are ready to take the flight and so… that’s the door that’s always kept a little ajar so soundlessly one can make the exit with grace. Fight or flight, it’s okay. I understand that urge to flee. Be assured though, this too will pass. You showed up and that’s enough for now. You will heal. You have it in you.
I have to go for now to get things done… our perennial theme – But quickie in a nutshell – It’s like a reset button we press to get back on track … Our body has the innate instinctive coding to heal – it has the wisdom and intelligence to know just what will allow us to shine again, in that brilliance we had as a child when we had little to no fear. Fear is good; it allows survival. But beyond survival, we need not fear – we want self-assurance, confidence and … courage. To live in joy. How ? Stop beating ourselves up and start treating our body with more kindness… with compassion. With respect it deserves. It helps to know what you need to do to take care of yourself … and sometimes that would be to …let it be and allow the body back to homeostasis.
We just have to get out of the way.
Please take care – you will get well and the barometer of knowing is when you are able to show up again. You had the courage to show up once and that is enough for now.
Thank you for showing up. That’s a milestone.
Love & Peace,
Your Yoga Teacher
