Hahaha
Are you like me in that you like to go with the flow and not create waves?
Are you one of those people taught to be polite and taking up little space, a virtue?
Have you noticed that some people may be repressed and thus act out subversive with passive aggressive ways?
I don’t like to confront people and call out transgressions; I don’t like to challenge or disagree; I don’t like to create friction; I don’t like to fight; I don’t like to complain; I don’t like to criticize; I don’t like to create akward vibe; I rather ignore, eyeroll and leave … akward silence and tension … agitation … so much like work space we want to find refuge from so for what is meant to be a friendly banter and interaction is that warm hue of hugs but when that is disrupted … ouuuu … just … CRINGE !
I don’t want to get angry – negative energy – ugh -cringe Cring CRINGE !
HOWEVER, when you encounter TOXIC words and viewpoint repeatedly, it’s plain and simple – it’s poison and the toxiticy after a certain level is destructive. Poison travels and could make its way into your system through our 5-senses, like stress, can cause inflammation and disease – so you will be saving yourself if you stay away from negative people. You are not their therapist – there are people who specialize in that. Friends? What does a true friend do?
TF cares and reaches out not just at one’s high point but at low point – TF will find words of joy, healing and love. To know the audience, and TPO – is a lifeskill. So it is a litmus test – the use of intentional words and energy – If you encounter transgressions and lack of manners … it’s the right thing to do – call it out for what it is. It is rude to put down things, people, place … and you should not tolerate it just to internalize the poison spitted out by others.
Have some manners, dipolomacy, tact and above all, EMPATHY. Not sympathy but empathy – how would you like it if someone tramples on your garden, fruits of which you so generousely shared. As guests and neighbors, is it okay to just cut the flowers that does not belong to you ? Is it okay to complain that the tomatoes that you steal were not sweet enough?
Is it okay to speak ill of place, people, culture or race? NO.
It starts from small things. Daily manners and care you take with your words – words can be violent or words can be kind – words are used for communication of intentions of the speaker – what motivates what’s said.
Linguistically with this country filled with immigrants with English not being their first language – sometimes, there are misunderstanding. It is our nature to think ill of someone who speaks negatively or critically always but …
Humor, not “bashing”, saves the day – all the bashing of this or that by haters are filling our airspace – we must ignore them or … call them out. Insensitively, they will go on bashing this and that to suit their agenda. We can choose to ignore or call it out or go along. What’s the best way.
Happy to share the toolbox to deal with the rude, the toxic and the ugly … words. First, you must call it out for what it is. Discern critical and deep thinking vs. just hate – words of haters are shunned; Rather, critical and deep thinkers for problem solving and action to make this world a better place? I have only gratitude for those who are not just chasing money but chasing dreams to make this place a better place. Thank you for the love and care you take to till our lands and share the bounty of goodness.
